NIX | Vanilla and the Great Alpine Sweep 🏔️🚐

John Nickolls
1 day ago
3 min read

The 21-Day Alpine Masterplan

This is not just a route. This is the full Alpine pilgrimage for Vanilla: a 21-day Stafford-to-Stafford adventure across France, Austria, Italy, Switzerland and the French Alps.

Think less “motorway slog” and more “Top Gear meets Tomorrow’s World meets a man with an unhealthy interest in mountain passes, campsite barriers and whether his Nebula projector will still work at 7,000 feet.”

Day 1 – Stafford to Folkestone

Approx distance: 245 miles
Overnight: Folkestone area campsite
Main aim: Easy run down through the UK without stress
Suggested stop: Clacket Lane Services for a coffee and a look at the convoy of caravans all heading south like migrating turtles

Day 2 – Folkestone to Reims

Eurotunnel crossing in the morning
Approx distance: 180 miles in France
Overnight: Reims municipal campsite
Main aim: A gentle first French driving day
Food stop: French bakery breakfast and supermarket raid for cheese, bread and suspiciously large packets of cured meats

Day 3 – Reims to Lake Annecy

Approx distance: 350 miles
Overnight: Campsite near Annecy
Main aim: Reach the edge of the Alps
Best evening view: Lakeside sunset with Vanilla parked up and the BioLite glowing gently in the awning

Day 4 – Annecy to Chamonix

Approx distance: 65 miles
Overnight: Chamonix valley campsite
Main aim: A shorter scenic day
Drone stop: Mont Blanc viewpoints
Best activity: Sit outside Vanilla with a brew and pretend you’re in a very expensive campervan advert

Day 5 – Chamonix to Andermatt via Furka Pass

Approx distance: 180 miles
Overnight: Swiss mountain campsite
Main aim: First major Alpine pass day
Furka Pass is one of the great roads of Europe, with huge mountain views, twisting roads and plenty of places to stop for photos.

Day 6 – Andermatt to St Moritz via Bernina Pass

Approx distance: 130 miles
Overnight: St Moritz area
Main aim: Scenic Swiss roads and glacier views
Drone stop: Bernina summit area
Best scenery: Massive lakes, mountain railways and snow even when you think there should not still be snow

Day 7 – St Moritz to Stelvio Pass to Dolomites

Approx distance: 180 miles
Overnight: Dolomites campsite
Main aim: Tackle Stelvio Pass
Stelvio is one of the most dramatic roads on Earth. The famous hairpins are ridiculous in the best possible way.

Day 8 – Dolomites Rest Day

Main aim: Relax
Use the projector, make a proper breakfast, sort the drone batteries and enjoy the mountains
Suggested activity: Cable car rides and scenic walks

Day 9 – Dolomites to Austria

Approx distance: 140 miles
Overnight: Austrian lakeside campsite
Main aim: Easier driving day
Good for: Recharging both yourself and Vanilla

Day 10 – Grossglockner High Alpine Road

Approx distance: 120 miles
Overnight: Zell am See area
Main aim: Conquer one of Europe’s greatest driving roads
Grossglockner is exactly the sort of road Vanilla was built for.

Days 11 to 14 – Austria and Bavaria

Easier scenic days
Lakes, castles, villages and campsites
Time for drone flights, local food, lakeside walks and generally pretending you live there

Days 15 to 17 – Switzerland and Route des Grandes Alpes

Approx distance across these days: 400 miles
Main aim: Big mountain roads without rushing
Suggested roads: Col de l’Iseran, Galibier, Col du Lautaret
Expect spectacular scenery, long descents and the occasional coach driver appearing round a corner like an action film villain

Days 18 to 19 – Provence and Northern France

Slower days
Campsites with warm evenings
Nice opportunity for one final proper campsite evening with the awning out, projector on and music playing quietly from the Bang & Olufsen speaker

Day 20 – Northern France to Folkestone

Approx distance: 220 miles plus tunnel
Main aim: Get home side of the Channel without feeling rushed

Day 21 – Folkestone to Stafford

Approx distance: 245 miles
Final aim: Get home, unpack, then spend the next six months talking about the Alps to anyone who makes eye contact

Rough Cost Guide 💷

Eurotunnel return: around £250–£350
Fuel for full trip: around £850–£1,100 depending on Alpine driving
Campsites: around £35–£55 per night
Alpine toll roads and vignettes: around £180–£250
Food and extras: around £400–£700

Expected total trip budget:

£2,300 to £3,200

Final Verdict 🚐🏔️

This is exactly the sort of trip Vanilla was born for.

You stay under the key pricing thresholds, avoid brutal back-to-back mountain days, get plenty of scenic drone stops, and still have time to enjoy campsites, lakes, villages and mountain evenings.

You will come back with thousands of photos, hundreds of drone clips, probably 14 different cheeses, and at least one new obsession with Alpine tunnels.

Most importantly, you will still be talking about it years later while sat in Vanilla with the projector running, the BioLite glowing, a mug of tea in hand and the mountain photos rolling across the screen like the closing credits of the greatest road trip film you have ever made.